I smile

I feel lonely sometimes
Not because you aren’t beside me
You are right here
Playing with my hair with your left hand
absentmindedly,
And with the right hand you are holding your phone,
Typing away on it
You tell her how your day was
You tell her about the cute little dog
you saw on the sidewalk
You tell her how bored you get sometimes
And then you keep your phone down
And come to me
You love to cuddle
I caress your hair and hold you tight
I don’t let go
I want you to stay
To tell me that you love me
But you don’t
You have said it a few times before
But you aren’t comfortable repeating it
And we fall asleep
I wake up early and make us some breakfast
And then you like something about it
And click a photo of it
I smile
I know you are going to send it to her
To talk to her about your day again
I smile
I have known for a while now
You love me
Yes you do
But you don’t know that it hurts me
When you text her immediately after something amazing happens
When you text her to say that your project isn’t going well
It’s not your fault that you don’t know
I don’t tell you
I can’t tell you
I don’t want to look possessive
I wish you would understand
But you don’t
And it’s okay
I smile.