You

I try writing a poem
No rhyme scheme, no pattern
Just a blank verse
There’s a prompt that I saw on Instagram
‘The day we came out of lockdown’
I start thinking of ideas for it
But there’s nothing
I’m surprised
I used to write a lot before I met you,
About the colourful leaves and the cool breeze,
About the people I saw on my way to college,
About the madman who sang at the bus stop everyday,
But not anymore.
Oh no, it had nothing to do with you
It wasn’t because you didn’t like poetry,
It wasn’t because you laughed at the poets I liked,
It wasn’t because I thought you would judge me,
Like always, “it’s not you, it’s me”,
So I try to write today.
But my mind is clouded
All I can think of is you,
About how you smile at my mistakes,
How you hold me so close to you,
I think of the times you look at me, only me,
Then I feel a smile on my face
And I realise,
I can’t think of anything but you,
Everything leads to you,
I shudder at the thought
I fight the feelings
I don’t want to let someone have so much power over me!
I start crying
You see me crying and you rush towards me with a worried look on your face,
I tell you it’s nothing
And you don’t ask
You just hold me until I’m quiet again
I push the note and pen away
I can’t write
Not yet
I’ll write something after the lockdown ends
When you aren’t around
When I can think of something else other than you
I’ll write about the weather maybe
Or about how the little kids are running around without a care in the world
Or maybe I’ll just write about you.