“Godi banna”
I tell him.
He doesn’t understand.
Of course he wouldn’t,
He has lived in America for too long.
“I have a wheat-ish complexion”
I translate from Kannada.
“Ohh, so you are not fair huh?”
He asks me.
I’m offended.
Is it normal to be?
Frankly, I don’t know.
He is just confirming a fact, isn’t he?
Shouldn’t I just answer it casually?
But I don’t want to.
This matchmaking thing isn’t working.
The edited picture my mom sent him has ruined it.
I have to tell my mom to stop.
I tell him I’m busy and don’t reply.
Now there’s introspection,
A lot of it.
Why did I get upset?
I’m not fair,
And I’m cool with it,
Or am I?
Why do I like these filters on Instagram?
Why not the mirror on the wall?
I don’t have a favourite colour,
I like all of them,
But skin complexion?
I like the fair one with blonde hair,
I like the dusky one with dark hair,
I also like the dark skin with cornrows and braided hair.
Then what do I not like?
My skin colour.
It’s already too deep in my head,
I realise that it isn’t about the skin colour,
It’s me.
I’m just insecure.
I look around,
I see that I fit in.
Because insecurity?
I see everyone with it.
What now?
Acceptance?
“Yes, I’m not fair”, I reply.
Darpan 
Beautiful.
The emotions we all go through because of or the other bias that has become implicitly part of our life.
Sometimes they over power to cause rage, upset, pain while other times they lead to introspection, contemplation and comprehension, which gives us beautiful work of art, be it poems, painting or music.
It’s not easy to be in one of the situation
But the choice is ours
As you did
To be aware and accept
Cheers to you
And beautifully captured the flow of thoughts as they go about.
I am curating the stories of India and some good things and not so good things about it.
Your poem fits – Dark skin in India and implicit bias
https://suratdiaries.in/blog/culture/
Please take a look and let me know if I can use this poem to fill in some of my work.
Thank you.
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It’s nice to see someone understand the entire issue so well!! You have an amazing blog…sure, go ahead, please do share the poem. Thank you!!
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In a country where they have changed the colour of their God (Krishna) to suit their preferences n choices, from Shyam varna to most pictures, portraits, all movies and serials showing fair skin.
It is natural for them to be biased about people in general.
Be your biggest celebration and the world for you will change bit by bit.
There are a large group of people now who understand the impact of implicit bias we have in our life, we must slowly tweak them. It’s just those kind of people are currently on the grow.
By speaking more about it, by supporting each other and by standing up to what we believe, we can create a harmonous lifestyle.
Cheers. Stay blessed. Live free.
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True!!!
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Nice dr….. 🤜👌
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